FUTURE IS FOR THE FUCKING BRAVE

2008-06-24T10:57:00.000-07:00

We are strange creatures and let's not cover ourselves under the countless blankets of denial here. We are truly very strange.

The construct of every individual beings and the purpose of their destiny is as complex to me as algebra in secondary school. Well i fail my maths and i wonder if those universities algebra is even more complex. I shall wait to be standing in correction.

I have an occupational hazard with an occupation that those not exist and as hazardrous as it is disasterous. I always wonder why i place my heart on my sleeves knowing that i have always knew why i place it there to rot and be hammered with. I don't even know why i need to wonder. But i'm stubborn. The worst part is that my stubborness came from nothing and it is in nothing that affect so many things in my life.

In beliefs and principals i had alot. If they were categorize from A to Z, i would have "A to Z". And if in psychology, "A to Z" would be stated as a dichotomy. I would have "A to Z" the negative, the positive, the in betweens, the upside down, the inside out and whatever.

My principals is this, if you are able you are able. If you are able, there must not be any reason that you can go to being disable. But if you are disable and there's an oppurtunity of will do be able that i salute you.

I shall continue tomorrow, got to punch out now.

2008-06-21T23:05:00.000-07:00

As much as i love nature and for nature to take it's course but there's always this urgent reminder inside of me that time waits for no man. I've always advocate the principle that limitation is a dangerous plaque in our minds. We have done so for safety and survival, to seek comfort in it. In the "real" world with this principle at hand a "normal" man of a logical mind wouldn't think so for because of status, money and power i had never been able to sustain in abundance and therefore I'm limited.

With that say, i believe that i don't belong to the category of the "real" world nor do i belong to the category of a "normal" man. For the control of the mind has always been the "real" and the "normal" to me. Not status, money or power. In doing so i believe that this powerful feeling call regret will be lessen in any man's future. For if they had did what they have always wanted to do, say or feel in a responsible and conscious manner, it will heighten the sense of bliss when the day their journey in this world has ended. Not the amount of money you have in your bank account, how powerful you are or how high you've climb up the ladder. If what you have limits the soul of other people or yourself it's better not worth having.

But doing so and thinking so, i sometimes feel that I've limited myself just by holding the beacon flashing "Don't limit yourself! Don't limit yourself! Don't limit yourself!":at people's face. Well i can do it subtly sometimes but than again time has never been on our side. Limiting myself to limitation isn't that a limitation in itself?

I've wonder, gone nuts, apologize and apologize again to countless of people that is very close to me. For to me, they are the one who has to endure the bombardment of my beacon time and time again. For i love them so much, too much. So say it works, so say it doesn't, i don't care cause i care too much. I may be the only one in your world that is willing to eradicate a few of your limitations rather than none trying at all or there may be many. But in doing so i feel that i expect a certain kind of results and that limits me and that the purpose for this entry is to show you that I'm very much a human after all.

I should just stop taking on people's burden and be one of the "normal" man. For i have given up. It hurts people and i don't like that feeling to know and know for a fact that I've caused it. It's mentally draining for so many people and i should do them a favor and just shut up and don't think too much. I've have always been the way i am so that you will never regret living your life the way it is, i have this sense of responsibility to train you before your physical life cease it's course, that if i am in your world i will do all i can even after i leave. But i know now that to some, the biggest regret is that they have let me into their world. And i am sorry. The vision of a warrior turning to see his village burn down. Now i know what it meant. I am an extreme. A sleep deprivation and position of sleep may not be something to blow up about. Stop complaining may be something to be agitated about. Don't think of the pain and stop saying i can't do it may be something totally insensible to even contemplate. I will do all a favor and extinguish this beacon. It has no longer serve it's cause. So too my mind.

2008-06-01T00:18:00.000-07:00

let it be and you shall see what i see
turn around only to put it on snooze
smile not with words that you type
cry when it rains on sunset avenue

it can't be describe
so let it be
it'll let us feel
and we shall be free
remember this please

2008-04-24T01:43:00.000-07:00

"COURAGE"

"That is what i call a smirk on my face"

"Enigma"

"Too much information up here man"

"Lollipop anyone?"

"Damn those boogers"

"Hee"

2008-04-24T01:31:00.000-07:00

A samurai met a zen master and ask him, "Is there such as heaven and hell?"
In which the zen master replied "WHO ARE YOU?!"
"I am a samurai" he says.
"You?! A samurai?! Hahaha. You look no ordinary than a begger in the streets" the zen master shouted.
Fill with rage and anger by the zen master lack of respect for a samurai, he instantly went for his sword.
Seeing that the samurai was about to kill him with his sword, the zen master says calmly, "Here lies the gates of hell"
Understanding what the zen master meant, the samurai than drop his sword and bow on his knees.
Looking up at the zen master, the samurai says with tears in his eyes, "Here lies the gate of heaven"

2008-04-01T12:21:00.000-07:00

"we have constantly and consistently misinterpret forcing our own interpretation of an interpretation that has already been govern by the law of nature"

2008-03-24T06:49:00.000-07:00

the jabbawockeez dance crew are simply too tight...one of the best i've ever seen

2008-03-16T09:12:00.000-07:00

if this is going to be the future, i'm going to get myself some popcorns. if they haven't wipe it out yet of course

2008-02-26T09:59:00.001-08:00

not in a million years would i have thought that the "given" will show up in this way. that glimpse was all that i was looking for. my breath was taken away for a moment, blood starts to flow in directions akin to those of children's running around a nursery during playtime, goose bumps started to give birth to new goose bumps, however impossible that may be.

a given to what i know is something in life that will supersede every notion of knowledge which to some "a higher order" of things, a profound experience beyond dualism shown to oneself at the right of time, at the right of space and the right of mind, body and soul. now i might be wrong, but what I've felt was so overwhelming it was too surreal to be untrue. it was so true, i didn't even want it to be touch by labels and meanings. even truth can't be put into it.

it was a very nice feeling and i must thank you so much.

2008-02-25T21:58:00.000-08:00

form and essence are two very different things. one is something that can be touch, seen and smell whereas the other is the creator on the meanings to what you touch, see and smell. essence is that spark in your engine that ignites the form which is obviously the car.

now money is a form. there's two kind of essence that will come into play here. why do i need money and who am i after i get the money. but without money, how? can you still get the things that you want to get? money is not evil, man who wants money as a shortcut to everything else is! but remember the equation is not that man is evil. so please don't think otherwise.

love is not totally a form but it is evident to most the symbols of love. and most people, they are not in love with the person but they are in love with the symbols. the essence of love is very important and in human nature we have the need to explain in detail what everything means. but the essence of love can't be explain. how to balance on a bike can't be explain, how to float on water can't be explain, how to do a 780 degrees kick flip on a skateboard can't be explain. love is an experience, it's a process of being with one another. it IS developing, mutating, morphing and the bliss of deep love for one another. if "days of our lives" has an episode on deep love. not only the viewers but the actors themselves will fall asleep!

happiness. form? the things that you always wanted. but funny how that kind of happiness won't last. so whats happiness? think about it. obviously everyone has been in the presence of happiness be it externally or internally. so imagine that sensation. you're so happy that when a bulldozer crush your leg you feel like hugging the driver. well happiness is something that puts a smile in your face, if you want it than don't complain to me that your mouth starts to cramp. so whats the essence of happiness. what is that? how to be happy forever? till eternity and infinity. well ask love. though you might not grasp the answer. cause u need to explain too much.

look at your essence my friends. though you may have form in abundance, an empty shell worth nothing, it's weight in heaven.

2008-02-24T23:14:00.000-08:00

things are the same nothing much has change, well things has happen but not to what my ultimate want is. which is obviously to get married, have kids, a girl name oi and a boy name eh, have a decent roof to stay under,nestum for breakfast, one plain prata for lunch and two cheese prata for dinner plus the occasional supper.

"what nonsence" dizzy exclaim.

enough about what i want. but what do you want? really i want to know. please tell me. call me at 1800-I-Want-Something, if you want the following of course?

-Money for security, enough to make you many enemies which than maybe you'll end up insecure yourself. eeeee money is so evil lor.

-Fame for attention, enough to make your every movement and uncall for emotions a great topic for the masses? you'll probably wish you were in a deserted island by now, away from all that crap or maybe someone is watching you taking that crap?

-happiness for that fuzzy feeling of aliveness, so happy that you forget about others? for happiness is a comfort zone that you refuse to leave behind thinking that what's out of that is ultimate sadness and you might meet alot of nay sayers on what is there to be happy about and you too will probably end up frustrated. so frustrated that you end up happily frustrated. wow what a trap.

-how about ermm. oh this is a good want. Love!!!! WOOOOO sensitive topic!!! anyway love for that companionship, for that guy or girl to buy you this certain gift which you'll ultimately be pleasently surprise and which you'll ultimately throw away after your dog have a go at it or something like that. love for that sobbing times when you need a shoulder to dump your mucus on, which inevetibly you'll might end up weaker than before for shoulders are sometimes busy and they need to work to buy food for their kids. don't know where to go to dump your mucus on? how about giving me a call? i'll tell you..and don't worry it's on the house.

now your wants might all look very nice and all that. but do you really know what you want. wants is like an item you wanna buy in a grocery shop and if you look at it like a grocery than you'll know what i mean. cause if you look at it otherwise, you might end up like most kids out there. depress for not getting what they want, and what they didnt realise was that they didnt know what they want in the first place. take for example a conversation between ali murray and paul mohan:

A.M: hey you lagging lah dude
P.M: fuck you why sial?
A.M: don't you know it's damn cool can to be seen eating an APPLE(ipod)in the streets nowadays?
P.M: oh thats why i see you with an apple everyday, where can i get it? expensive or not?
A.M: (points at the nearest grocery store) $200 bucks
P.M: WHAT!
A.M: (points at the nearest grocery store again) if you can get it by this week it might be cheaper.

*at home

P.M: I want an apple
Money supplier name MOM: okay how much
P.M: 200 can
MSN, MOM: can

*at the grocery shop

P.M: one apple please
+: 200 bucks please
P.M: nah give you
+: thanks

*with AM at town

P.M: (munching an apple)
A.M: (munching an apple)
A.M and P.M: (we are so cool)

a group of cool kids walks pass with a pear (dkny comb)

P.M: lets get that (while throwing a half eaten apple to the ground)
A.M: lets

it's like grocery. you get something and if it's not what you want than don't be sad. look for it again. if you have to walk half of this world than do so. life is the experience it gives, the bi-product is not important. life is. don't you get it?

2008-02-13T05:51:00.000-08:00

this guy is pure entertainment

2008-02-12T19:40:00.000-08:00

let me tell you a story. once told by a conscious man.

a war broke out between two cities in a holy state. the antagonist city demand that revenge is the only tool to make things right. to uphold it's value they decided to go to war with the neighbouring city.

the neigbouring city has certain values and principles that they had a need to uphold to. for generations they had never back down a challenge of a mass duel. so they accepted the antagonist call for war.

both cities met on a rice field. both equally numbered. chanting verses aloud, claiming supremecy. with swords at hand they charge. 1000 vs 1000. clashing in about 55 seconds.

a group of monks suddenly appear between them. they walk slowly, palm facing palm of their own. their heads bow down. very peacefully they walk. in between chaos. they exude order and peace. without a word or exxagerated movement they showed. a symbol of truth.

the war ended. 55 seconds did not happen. the two cities retreated. the antogonist city realise that TRUTH has no room for vengence whereas the neighbouring city, that although they had never back down a challenge realise that for generations that had fight againts their own cause. and because they always accepted a mass duel from others it in turn bacame, and they conclude, that they had accepted in upholding someone elses cause. the truth was forgotten than.

so where is truth?

it's not in peace or war
it's not in chaos or order
it's not in love or hate
it's not in fighting or hiding
it's not in replying or not replying
it's not in you or me

so where is it?

truth is our existence
truth is in living
truth is about growing
truth is in the is-ness of everything
truth is in the is-ness of nothing
truth is in truth

be in the moment and you can see it

2008-02-07T14:51:00.000-08:00

my balls are itchy

i am sleepy

just recover from stomach flu (again)

steve lawler at zouk tonight

above and beyond tomorrow at zouk

i need to stop saying that life is miserable
(money makes life miserable)

my bar manager gave me a $6 hang bao yesterday

kathi wants to be an engineer

mez wants to kill people

song is on a shopping spree

nadiah is waiting in anticipation for her developement in education

i ate my room mates koko crunch

i haven't seen my ma and paps in about 3 months

dubai thing is probably off for the mean time

gudang garam makes me sick

i need to go catch a movie

i think febuary is the time when i have my period

i need to buy more towels

my eye brow is bleeding because of my peircing

i need to buy toothpaste

usa is going into recession

the world's stock market is tumbling

and finally, i am sick and tired of being sick and tired and i feel like having some swedish meatballs

2008-02-05T14:29:00.000-08:00

just had supper at bedok south with kathi and mez. the official score now is like bedok south 1, bendemeer 3 and moet chandon lounge 39.5.

anyway mez gave a little feedback that i've been blogging to much about brother
Japanese which i than told him that it's not that i'm advertising brother J's incapabilities, it's just that he is a great example of bad leadership. so after i said that i started thinking. why this obsession with the bad and the good of leadership?

than i started to get piss. that's the think about me, when i go deep in thought, i'll automatically start rationalizing, contemplating, pondering and repeating the cycles with pictures painted in still like motion. it than starts to get real than in a few seconds from words that passes through my ears which is than filter through my mind it suddenly becomes a movie in my head.

so instead of telling what i'm thinking about, i'm actually telling what i'm seeing.

now leadership to me is a very sacred thing. if you call yourself a leader you better be a leader. what got me piss is that at this era, or in my world to say the least, there's so many lacks in the quality of leadership that i see. i dare say that i'm not an expert on what makes a good leader but c'mon, responsibility, ownership, sincerity and love is what gets the people's vote.

why i need to raise the importance of good leadership is simple really. if you are a leader of man and you don't have the right qualities and still wanting to be in the position of power than may i, as the voice of the people, label you a murderer of mind?
have you have no idea that you are making us suffer without knowing it?
now the sentence; "without knowing it", is just fucking irresponsible and down-right stupid.

to those who are in the position of power, it is easy to scream at your people thinking it's discipline but you end up hurting them so badly that they create labels for themselves thinking that they are useless or otherwise. just because you had a bad day doesn't mean everyone else have to get it as well.

i'm saying all this not only in my line of work but also in parenting as well. i guess the real reason why i pay such paticular attention to leadership may be cause by the way i was brought up by my mom and dad. i saw the worse and the best in parenting from the both of them and if the balance was off just by a millimetre i might end up either in jail for killing someone or end up being a village idiot.

at the end i turn up to be a person who is capable of killing anyone who gives up on village idiots for the wrong reasons. don't give up on them. nurture them, love them but if they betray you or worse when they betray themself. than only will i one day allow myself to destroy them. not even an inch will i leave for the vultures of death.

if you were to read the last sentence over and over again like a mantra you might think that i'm no different than a bad leader. for who am i to make right on something as subjective as judgement? but i didn't say i was a leader, i was merely making my opinion in written words and to those who knows me in spoken words. cause i'm not a leader. i'm the people's bartender a bi-product of a hopeful revolution.

2008-01-31T19:58:00.001-08:00

2008-01-31T19:33:00.001-08:00

most leaders choose to lead with reality
and some, only a rare few
chooses to lead to lead with the truth

2008-01-31T19:20:00.000-08:00

song's 17 birthday at pure(mos)

2008-01-31T00:34:00.000-08:00

emperor of the silent cries

i am the emperor of the silent cries
i stand trial to the crime that i didn't do
and to the offence that i didn't commit
but with the methyr faith inside of me
i shall prevail,
i shall prevail as the emperor of the silent cries

like watching a lady cry
over the death of her new born baby boy
like a bystander i tried
to stretch out my hand and comfort her

"WHY!!" she questioned
"Why is fate doing this??"
"Why not take my life but his??"

all night her suffering i felt
all night

the next day she blew out her misery

like a candle as to her faded life
like the wind as to a bladed knife

2008-01-31T00:29:00.000-08:00

Cause he's a.....

A man once came up to me,
and he was an arrogant man for sure
but the more i knew him
the more i realised i was being immature

not that i had an immature JUDGEMENT of him
but immature, for i had wrongly defined the ARROGANCE in him

cause he's a.....

he was beyond any written word
written on any given Monday
vocal by any given speech
spoken on any given Sunday

cause he's a.....

he was like a little boy
boasting to his friends about his two little sweets
given to him by the pavement
and exaggerated that it tasted as pure as the milk
from his mom's two little tits

he was like a commander
celebrating the surrender
of a town he had conquered.
but with guards made up of cows?
"Sure!", you start to ponder

laughing at men who use two hands to work
as he only had to use one hand to squirt
mocking the men's idea to evolve and be involved
and saying that only his ideas are in the centre
of where the universe revolves

cause he's a.....

fuck he even feels that he has the right
to reject ideologies. ideologies;
for the intention of good,
for that regression should stop,
for the progression of honesty,
and even,he even in the word that i can't describe
rejects ideologies from
the great intervention of god

cause he's a.....
if he was that great
why did we not only fall, but, fall in grace
smiling, as though we had failed
sent to the gutters; innocent, refusing bail
all this so that freedom might prevail?

if he was that great
why is it then, when the tsunami came
we stab his back so that it looks like an accidental death
knowing that we will eventually be dead as well?
were we at peace?

if he was that great
why then did we not feel
that we were great as well?

if he was so great
than why the fuck would i feel nothing
by showing him this (middle finger)
cause guys, fuckhe's just a god created waste when he messes with
our this (points to the head)
and our this (points to the heart)

and why?

because he is a fucking human being

2008-01-24T18:22:00.000-08:00

ode to my Japanese cultured leader you see

who's vast knowledge and wisdom appeal
appeal to my very existence of the wrong
and to my every being to defend
from every fibre of my soul to be strong
to the two delicate drum in my ear
it obviously appeal me to tears
oh my (clasp my mouth)

ode to my Japanese cultured leader you see

for he had made it evident that my ears can weep
that bad leadership reeks
like left over coffee or roadkill or both on every other week
it stings as it stinks pulling string was what he taught
ironic how defiant the japanese were to not pull anything
and to forget and forgive on why they had fought
they had maybe taught him well
how cultured he must be
to see and yet not see
the art of zen on a nucleared bomb bee

ode to my Japanese cultured leader you see

oh my i must be disillusioning my own mind
he had nucleared me as well
oh how great the wonder of genetics and time must be
to form a murderer of mind
but leads like a 5 letter private part that starts with a "p"
out of wedlock he had to be
no love there as anyone can see
to bad for me
i had never like sake and sushi ironically

ode to my Japanese cultured leader you see

2008-01-24T11:15:00.000-08:00

MOS January 23 2008
(Pose of the century)

:xander, me and adrian

2008-01-23T03:56:00.000-08:00

Dannie and Ilyana's sunset cocktail party
(God bless the both of them)

(a lovely couple indeed)

(yana showing her moves)

(getting it real with peeps)

(the DJ console at Lee Kwan Yew's hideout)

(what is a party without happy dancing people and happy singing rap metalist)

(cheena giving you his thoughts)

(oh well, there must be a red hooded monster somewhere out here)

(potato chips will do just fine thank you)

(haha mingling, what a funny word)

(the new look/expression/pose for 2008, but i was actually surprise when i realise we had the same style of shirt on)

2008-01-23T03:29:00.000-08:00

You are not by any chance, hearing things

2008-01-22T07:25:00.001-08:00

The Presence of Ideomotor Movement

Though it is rarely spoken of in discussions about human movement, descriptions of ideomotor activity are present in the medical literature beginning in 1852 when The Proceedings of the Royal Institution reprinted a lecture by William Carpenter. He identified ideomotor as a third category of nonconscious, instinctive behavior, which also included excitomotor (breathing and swallowing) and sensorimotor (startle reactions) activity. Ideomotor movement is secondary to thought, and it begins in the cerebrum.

The discovery of its presence and descriptions of intricate studies demonstrating its manifestation conducted in the 19th and 20th centuries can be found in Hermann Spitz's text (see resources).

In short, ideomotor action is well documented and the reality of its presence has never been refuted. Instead, it seems simply to have been forgotten. As Ray Hyman states, "Although the effects of ideomotor action have been understood for at least one hundred fifty years, the phenomenon remains surprisingly unknown, even to scientists."

Ideomotor action is referred to as "mischief-making" because its unrecognized presence is actually the reason movement occurs in activities such as dowsing, the play with the Ouija board and "facilitated communication." In fact, any activity in which movement is thought to be caused by forces that transcend our senses or are described as metaphysical in nature should be suspected to begin with movement that we don't consciously plan. The word volition is especially important to this concept. Defined as "the power of choosing; the act of making a choice or decision; willful," volition is subtly different than simple reflexive activity thought not to include the higher centers of the brain. And, like a simple reflex, ideomotor movement occurs instinctively, though it is often far more complex and always without volition. This is the primary reason those doing it do not commonly take responsibility for its manifestation or consequence. We suppose ourselves to be consciously in control of our movement for the most part, and it is difficult to convince people otherwise under ordinary circumstances.

Movements, especially complex and meaningful movements without volition, are an important aspect of our ability to communicate. This has been demonstrated in numerous studies detailing the non- verbal aspects of conversation (see resources). Without them, we must simply hope that others do not take our meaning in the wrong way, though our words might be the same written or spoken over the phone. These movements are by definition ideomotor in nature, and they are expressed fully when we are trying our best to be understood fully. When we feel we must restrict them due to some temporary social convention, their loss will be felt as a restriction and an isometric contraction of the musculature normally used for their expression. The consequent restriction in normal range of motion might be assigned to some articular or connective tissue dysfunction if its origin in the sublimation of full ideomotor action is never considered. Imagine being desperate to speak aloud but not being allowed to do so. Wouldn't your throat muscles isometrically contract? As William James said, "Whenever a movement unhesitatingly and immediately follows upon the idea of it, we have ideomotor action. (This is not a curiosity), but simply the normal process...and we may lay it down for certain that every mental representation of a movement awakens to some degree the actual movement which is its object; and awakens it in a maximum degree whenever it is not kept from so doing by an antagonistic representation present simultaneously to the mind." (emphasis mine) Remember, neurons get many signals at once. The total effect is determined by adding those that are excitatory and subtracting those that are inhibitory.

If I were to describe a culture where free speech was restricted, I would probably note a chronic tightness in the throat; a manner of speaking that was stilted and formal, and not always authentic. The unrequited desire to move the mouth freely would be evident in those muscles designed to do so. There would probably be people there responsible for keeping others quiet, and, in collusion, the culture would go along so as not to cause disorder.

If we as a culture were not comfortable with bodily expression that is unique and nonconsciously motivated, it would follow that there would be a deep distrust of ideomotor activity, especially in its fullest form. We would create an "ideal" of posture that was largely static in nature, and, when allowed to change, would only be allowed to do so in specific, choreographed ways. Of course, it would be virtually impossible to ablate this instinctive activity altogether, and all those who broke with the imposed traditions of stance and movement could not possibly be jailed. There would just be too many of them. But, I think, it would be possible to simply use the ideal stillness and erectness of the body as an exemplar of discipline, serenity, strength and high moral purpose. In such a culture, it would be clear to any school child that slouching and fidgeting were the activities of the undesirable student. Being able to sit or stand "at attention" for prolonged periods, while largely impossible without tremendous effort or discomfort, becomes an unattainable but constantly desired goal. There would even be a profession largely devoted to helping others stay erect and still. This profession would be taught to frown upon spontaneous bodily expression; perhaps assuming it was some form "illness behavior." Not knowing the consequences of restricting ideomotor expression (isometric contraction, nonconsciously generated), they would interpret all muscular "tightness" as a lack of appropriate relaxation. Methods of muscular "stretching" combined with admonitions to consciously override the brain's seemingly inappropriate message to the muscle with willful means of inhibition would be invented. Large doses of this "care" would be required to keep the ideomotor expression at bay. And they wouldn't work especially well. People in the profession would often be heard to say things like, "I can't treat her. She just won't relax!"

The Purpose of Ideomotor Movement

That this movement exists is irrefutable. Its origins are instinctive and necessary for normal functioning. We cannot hide entirely our intention to move despite our best efforts when we sense that movement is productive and necessary for our preservation. Trying to hide what we intend to do requires careful practice, and it has applications throughout the world of sport where one's opponent is trained equally hard in observational skills to combat this deception. An especially interesting discussion of how good we can become at sensing another's intention to move can be found in Jeremy Campbell's book Winston Churchill's Afternoon Nap. (see resources). It has to do with avoiding a blow in boxing despite the fact that it is commonly delivered faster than it should be possible to do so. It is evident that the ideomotor activity preceding the visible movement of the arm is sufficient to sense. In other words, it's "telegraphed," and a trained opponent will see it coming. There are many other examples from sport, but of more interest to me is something like the "tell" in poker; those small behaviors that prove revealing to anyone noticing them and understanding them in context. The classic text on the subject contains a forward written by an anthropologist (see resources).

If, as William James suggests, ideomotor activity underlies most of what we do in order to function throughout the day, and it begins almost imperceptibly in many instances, why is this useful information for those of us dealing with patients?

I described earlier a culture where any nonconsciously motivated bodily expression was strictly controlled by means of a pervasive bias against it. In order to perpetuate this, it might also be implied that erect stillness or movement outside a choreographed regimen was "unhealthy" in some way. I have the sense that this is where I live. And, in my clinical experience, constant admonitions toward erect posture, to "just relax," and to follow prescribed regimens of exercise designed to strengthen muscles and stretch connective tissue have simply not been as effective as we were taught they would be. The majority of therapists attending my workshops suffer from chronically painful problems (primarily spinal), and the traditional methods have not helped. To me, this is quite meaningful, although it is a fact rarely spoken of openly.

I am suggesting here that ideomotor activity does not merely represent our thoughts about what's in our poker hand, or that it exists only to reveal our desire to move, but that it is also present to correct us. I'm saying that one of its primary functions is the reduction of mechanical deformation, and that this is the main activity our culture frowns upon. Consider this: A child on his first day of schooling will breath and swallow (exicitomotor) and the teacher says nothing, he startles in his seat if the door slams (sensorimotor) and no one complains. But if he shifts in his seat in order to grow more comfortable, if he expresses fear or anticipation or anxiety that is deemed inappropriate, there is a very good chance that all of this movement will be discouraged.

Although the culture eventually encourages the expression of feelings with words and some array of gestures, the ideomotor movement essential for comfort never finds the same acceptance or approval.

Suppose one day as the end result of a unique set of circumstances enough mechanical deformation is created to produce nociception. Without any trust in the ideomotor activity necessary for correction (the "antagonistic representation present simultaneously to the mind" of William James), anybody would withhold its expression. The resultant isometric activity would be mistaken for guarding, and all effort directed toward its reduction, never its full expression. I think, however, that another's desire to move is palpable, and that when it is encouraged with Simple Contact (see resources) it can prove to be an effective method of relieving pain and restoring normal autonomic tone (see Levine's article and book in resources).

When therapy ignores the presence of ideomotor movement, it loses an opportunity to enhance the instinctive abilities of the patient. When it misinterprets the resultant isometric activity, it spends time and effort trying to get rid of something that should be amplified by means of enhanced awareness and acceptance. Until our community begins to understand more about functioning at this level, it will fail to help many who are simply trying to correct, but can't find a safe place to do so.

2008-01-22T07:06:00.000-08:00

The power of the mind II

2008-01-22T07:05:00.000-08:00

The power of the mind

2008-01-21T10:27:00.000-08:00

Banksy is ma man

2008-01-06T11:32:00.000-08:00

2 weeks ago my supervisor pass me a cheque for $100. I ask him why and he told me that i won October staff of the month for bar and he pass me the cheque on December. Go figure, the delivery guy must have lost his way in the alps.

So i started to wonder. Its nice getting staff of the month and all, it'll look good on my resume but the significance of it being won especially in a place like cafe del mar is like a no biggy. I mean, everyone knows that it's a rotation thing and that they might (and I'm assuming here) award the staff that is not only a good staff but also a good staff that is on the verge of leaving the company or something like that. I don't know, well it seems that way to me.

So anyway yahoo, staff of the month. Me? Haha i don't give a damn.

The PLAN!!

Yes yes yes, i wanna talk about "THE PLAN". I have plans, and Dubai IS the plan. "K" (who is someone i know) has started talking with his connections and that is making me very excited. Can't wait for the action to happen. Oh man Dubai. Than maybe i work in a bar in Miami than London than maybe Johannesburg. WOW. I will be a globetrotting bartender who has his own show in discovery channel saying the newest explicit language man had ever heard off. CHEEEEBAI!! Hahaha fucking yeah. Let's start the cheebai trend.

Nadiah introduced me to a course in psychology that is available in a certain polytechnic recently. It was very tempting and it got me thinking and thinking hard on what my capabilities is, are or were. Really tempting. Am still thinking about it, still......damn i'm still thinking about it. Sigh. I shall just put that thought a side for the meantime. If only i knew about it after i left for national service like 4 years ago. Than maybe i would have taken it up but maybe now is just not the right time.

thats it for now....later

2007-12-23T07:30:00.001-08:00

Here it goes. 19th December 2007. The motherfucking black wednesday.

Started work in the bar at 6pm. Everything started quite alright. Just like any normal days. Untill...

I had to photocopy some documents in the office. Looking at the security cameras recording everybody moves in cafe del mar, my attention was focus on the office camera recording it's front door. I saw one of my bar colleuges on the camera, Ricky was the bloke's name.

I turn around and Ricky told me ever so politely, "Zul, Mr ken is looking for you". The first thing that when through my mind was "Did someone faint? Or did someone complain about the drinks? It couldn't be me cause i haven't made any drinks since i started work. Well even if i did not make any drinks, it is still my responsibility if something stupid happens. Better get this paperwork over and done with" So i rush out of the office, not in haste and not too slow.

Ken was in the bar checking the equipments. The only thing i did once i step in the bar was to say "Ken, you looking for me?" He quickly replied asking me about the cleanliness of the bar yada yada yada and that Prima Deli is under investigation for food poisoning. In my heart i kept asking myself that cleanliness should be check like once a week or twice a month at least. Not until some Prima Deli place gets it than we start moving our asses. I think it must be a Japanese thing. I hope so, than i would at least think that Ken is still a bright fellow.

Than he drop me a really tricky question. "Zul whats the co2 opitimum guage ar?". I mean wow Ken you got me stump. I had to think quickly and i replied in a not very smart way "Erm i'm not really sure" and he gave me a not really smart answer in return, "Wow bartender also don't know ar! Go ask your captain ar!" Thanks Ken you're the best.

So he checked the front and the back of the bar. He instructed me to clear the shit at the back. I did that. He ask me whether this certain kind of bill folder was still in use when he found it stash in the drawer under the cash register. I say i go ask Ju whether she's using it still. Than he left. UP YOURS KEN!!!

A couple of minutes later Ju walked past the bar. I showed her what i did to her back area cash register. She nod. I told her about the bill folder. She ask me where is it. I say i passed to Alex. I ask Alex. He told me that he think Ken took it already. So i ask Ju to double check with ken on what to do with this certain kind of bill folder before anyone decides to throw it away. She nod and say okay.

Now this is the best part. Ken came storming to the bar like a fuming japanese emperor who thought i cheated on his othello game. "Wow Zul, play ball ar?! Why you told Ju that i take the bill folder ar!! I where got take ar!!" Now at this moment i was like what the fuck man and in a split second while i tried to explain that Alex told me otherwise, Ricky who was on my left, took the bill folder from under the fridge and when "It's here" (Thanks Ricky you're the best). Ken,"There blah blah blah, yada yada yada arrrrrrrrr" Got it twice in a row from him. Ken is the champion!

I was piss. Not piss as in i'm going to kill your family kind of thing but piss as in pissing piss. Short and warm. Next up was the episode when i shouted at my china bar back.

3 times!! 3 times i told him to top up the fridge so that he can go back on the dot at 8pm. And 3 times, 3 times he when back to wiping the wall. I shouted. I don't regret that i shouted at him but i regretted not talking to him slowly, word by word to t o p u p t h e f r i d g e. NEXT BETTER EPISODE..

A group of young foreign people came up to the bar, 2 of the blokes ordered 2 shots of grey goose. Yes Sir right way Sir after you show me your fucking IDs (i whisper under my breath) "Can i see your IDs" was what i really said. The ID slip from one of the guys hand and it when straight into the ice bin. Now slip and throw is two really different thing but i would like to call it throw just for the fun of starting a fight. "Sir" i raise my voice slightly, "I don't think you need to throw your card at me" saying it while pointing my finger (the second not the middle) at his long nose. "Well" he said in his accent "I must have buttery fingers". Now pause for awhile. At that very moment, at that second i wanted to jump over the bar and give him a stone cold stunner but i didn't cause Xander was looking at me. Xander like to look cause he's a looker. So i didn't do anything but someone certainly made things worse for me and it's non other than the japanese guy himself.

Ken, yes ken had to come in this picture as well. ZUL DON'T SERVE THEM YET AR>BUT KEN I'VE CHECK THEIR ID ALREADY>WHY YOOOOO CHECKKKKK ARRRRR!!! GOT SECURITY FOR WHAT AEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
The only thing i did after that was to wave at him and smile. My anger has taken a back seat. My anger is useless. It has lost it's mojo at that very instance.

End of the night i got a block nose and luckily nothing major happen at work like maybe a japanese flag caught fire or something. Nope that didn't happen but got a block nose still. Got change and walked to our company transport for our tour-like ride home. Block nose still there. Tour-like as in tour-like slow. Nose still. I, Kathi, Mez and Song decided although not willingly to go for supper to go for supper anyway. Am still blocked. Song took the front seat so i decided to seat behind him. Blocked. When in. Still can smell anything. Hey why is the cushion damp? Still can't smell. With further investigation i realised that i just touch a seat covered with PUKE!! BLOOOOOOOOOOOCKED NOOOOOSE!!!

God damn it. I quickly when out of the transport, almost puking myself, "THERE'S PUKE IN YOUR VAN FRANCIS!!!!" "WHYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!". kathi when to investigate with francis. The rest all went "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE". At the end of that episode the four of us decided to take another vehicle and thanks to Kathi we alighted at Vivocity to take cab to our supper destination at Kallang. Got blocked nose still and puke soaked hand.

Fast forward a little. Was joking in the cab how bad and so wrong my day could end up and we had a little laugh when someone said that my food will have onions cause i hate onions and my tea will have ginger cause i had ginger. "CLOSE!!" Kathi shouted in the cab. Close? What close?. I turn my head to the coffeeshop. ARGH The coffeeshop is close. Today is eve of Hari Raya Haji. Numb. I just when numb. Numb like times when you squeeze your upper and lower lip together. I was speechless. Just numb.

I started to get moody. We alighted at Geylang instead. We walk around and we still can't believe why nobody had forsee that Kallang would be close tonight. I didn't have a clue neither did anyone else.

We walk for quite abit. Decided to settle for this shop around lorong 10 i think cause it was showing football and the street hawker was selling carrot cake. Started talking about work, my unlucky day and the future for the four of us. To be honest i couldn't concentrate on the conversation. Was dumbfounded on how my day had turn out the way it is. And being a guy who believes in signs and celestial prophecies yada yada yada, i was just trying to figure out what has just happen. Decided i was too overwhelmed to decipher anything, i decided to refocus my energy and watch football instead. Than..

BOOM! Blackout. The coffeshop when dark, the tv off and me? Well this was a whole new level of things that in two simple word best describe today's unfortunate events,BLACK WEDNESDAY.

2007-12-21T09:16:00.000-08:00

my favourite vocalist of 2007. This lady got class when she holds the mic. Her voice is not only exceptionally extraordinary but what i like most about her is the expression that she gives after hitting the high notes. It's like phew that was great kinda of look. Haha. Check her out to see what i mean.

Jaclyn Victor

2007-12-21T09:05:00.001-08:00

Oh shit i forgot to blog about black wednesday (19December was a fucked up day for me). Tomorrow than. Stay tune. It was black with the capital LACK!

2007-12-21T07:50:00.000-08:00

"Do you sometimes wish that you could be sovereign from the perplexity of these political disorders? I do. Only, it remains inevitable and evading it isn't so much of a guarantee for survival after all. So let the pessimists dwell on their fears, I say." -Nadia

Communism is a theoretical and practical concept that promotes establishment of a classless, stateless society based on common ownership. Now with that said, i believe in two things.

One being that for everything in life, every views, every system or/and every situations, has in it it's own way, a negative or positive effect on the consequence thereafter, hence the Newton's law that every action has an equal or opposite reaction.

Second is, i don't believe that one singular model, system, way, rule, technique or idea will assist in achieving results within the realm of a target or goal that one is out to achieve.

Before i continue, i shall make an assertion in regards to the definition of politics. Politics is a social relation involving authority or power and it refers to the methods and tactics used to formulate and apply policies. So what does policy means?

A policy is a deliberate plan of action to guide decisions and achieve rational outcome. And rational being?

Rationality as a term is related to the idea of reason. Reason to who/what, for who/what?

Now that depends.

For example. Political awareness is a good tool to have. You soak in episodes of conversation, reaction or ideas that has already been implemented. Just soaking it in. Imputing data into your mind. Digesting and to just be present.

Now political awareness with emotions for example. Let say negative emotions. You start soaking in the same conversation, reactions and ideas, not only soaking it in but soaking it in with jealousy, guilt, hatred or pain. You not only end up digesting and imputing those information. You are most likely to leave, attack or kill yourself once the alchemy has taken full flight.

As the saying goes. Do not use a fruit knife or a chainsaw to cut meat. Use a cleaver. Meaning that out of so many tools to be politically incline please choose the right one and for the right reasons. Great power comes with great responsibility. So if you can fly please respect the skies and not block the aeroplanes from landing.

So if i have complete control and supreme authority on this matter would i be a communist like leader? Depending on the situation the best way is to have no way. So to the nay Sayers, the most that we can do to them is to create awareness to be politically incline and that the reason for their demise is simply because they are playing the game wrong, following the wrong rules, hitting the wrong targets and for crying out loud; stop peeing on the referees for once!

So to Nadia. There's no sure way on hitting the right notes for the different genres or even sometimes to defend or argue with the people who hides under their own feaces only to pop their heads out every once in awhile and scream "THATS NOT RIGHT", "YOU ARE A FOOL TO THINK" or "I TOLD YOU SO" because to me the one way and the only way is to just carrying on singing.

Singing for the greater good of humanity. For me although i'm not a great example to begin with. I shall sing to the greater good for the minds of humanity.

2007

2007-12-17T20:48:00.000-08:00

26 years old and counting and if i do my maths right I'll be 27 next year. If i even digress with further calculations, I'll be 30 by 2011. That's great. 2011 shall be a great year. Well every year is a great year. I know, cos I'm the all knowing, all thinking and all knowingggggggg zen dentist of nebula 32. I don't really know why i type that? I'm crappy.

2007 coming to an end and like any great writers of the 21st century i shall recall the events that happen within this year, montage like and with teary eye even. Sob Sob.

Cafe del mar. I must admit, I've learn a lot from that place. Met great friends, leaders that i can mould myself into and political situations that was and still is a fun game to me.

B1, Terry and Kathi has given me great insights on the options i can use in leading people. One is damn committed, so much so that a random attack to the heart still won't stop him from coming to work. The other is very supportive, hard working and has a mammoth wealth of knowledge. Very good in his people skill as well. The last is a great leader in motivating, safe mode, aggressive mode and the many modes that can be use in an organization like cafe del mar. It's all about the modes man. And one thing i find in common with all of them is that they're humble, sincere and has been through tough times and gotten out of it alive.

Friends i met that is an inspiration to me, open up my minds to new skills of communicating to people and are of a high pedigree are few and far between in cafe del mar.

Take songster for example. I see a lot of myself in him when i was 17 or 19. Almost freakishly similar in many ways. We are great communicators, some what petty most of the time, great listener and has the knack of influencing people to certain degrees. But the most obvious difference is the way we look and interact with ladies. He is dangerously outgoing to ladies whereas I'm more shy and overly caring to them. Well with that said he is a damn good friend to have. Cheers to you mate. Next year dude, next year the dizzy and songster show will take off!! I sincerely hope.

Than there's Mez. Learn a hell lot from him about the bar and service from conversation as broad as communicating to operations to efficiency. I feel that he is under appreciated most of the times though. He can be one of the greatest leader in FnB i must say. I hope he'll be fucking successful in his career and get what he truly deserve. Seriously. It will be a waste of talent if he gives up. I'll pray man, I'll pray.

Beili. Bar captain and a very capable fella. He taught me that being nice is sometimes workable in this industry. I think without him i might have quit long time ago. And this dude is a fucking hard working capitan. Great potential to be working with someday other than cafe del mar i foresee.

Nadia rawtner the change giver. Change as in coins (hahaha). She's one of the rare thinkers that I've met in my life. I don't totally agree with everything that she says especially about the feminism thing but hey everybody has a different view on how a Utopian like world will look. But she's unique, views from love to cultures to work has help me in broadening my dichotomy on how life functions to different people. In my hearts of hearts i wish that she will get what she wants somewhere in the near future. Was being an editor one of them? I can't recall.

POLITICS. A public secret in cafe del mar. I love politics because it keeps me on my toes. How do you get a fuck up manager to shut his gap and to stop power tripping? Who do you mix with, the influencers or the low profilers? Do you make known you capabilities now or later? When do you attack and when do you retreat? The best time to scream at your staff and how do you get them to stay motivated still? How to get people to watch your back? Why showing weakness is sometimes good?

And a whole lot more still. I truly believe that being politically incline in an organization is a MUST. The nay Sayers will definitely object stating that it's a total detriment of empowerment and positive development.

But knowing in history that even Mohammad, prophet of Islam uses politics to impart the fundamentals of Islam to his people and to get them in Islam. Jesus too. Parents too are political, how do i get my kids to a good school? How to show my son that I'm not favouring big sister when an argument happens?

When you go to a coffee shop you are also being political in a way. Which store do i choose? What do i want to eat? I hate this store it gave me bad service, but i love the food though, damn, how?

So looking back at 2007 it's was a great ride. 2 more token for the new ride of 2008. Buckle your seat belt, it's time for me to whether the storm!

Great unplugged set

2007-12-17T20:38:00.001-08:00

New and old

The Pose that can't go wrong

2007-12-17T20:29:00.000-08:00

DBS street party at haji lane

2007-12-17T20:24:00.001-08:00

I love this pic

The gang that i've not met for a long time

definition of rsvp

2007-12-16T08:30:00.000-08:00

"Répondez s'il-vous-plaît" or
"Réservez s'il-vous-plaît",

a French phrase that translates to "Please respond".
It is with this meaning that invitation cards and similar documents are often marked with

"R.S.V.P.".

shake your fucking asses

2007-12-13T10:17:00.001-08:00

fuck YEAH!

i shall now be profoundly profound...NOW!!!!!

2007-12-10T08:55:00.000-08:00

Last post September 27

That's abit too long

73days a tad too long

Not a good thing

I shall update

NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

been sick for the past few weeks, just recovered. the past few weeks meaning counting backwards as of december 10 2007 and sick as in heavy lungs, weazing like a weazer, runny nose and smelly feet.

been feeling playerish lately since 2 weeks ago. must be the kimchi episode. or was it since a month ago. can't remember. or maybe it was the pyjamas party episode. can't remember still.

been raining german shepard and siamese cats for the past 6 to 8 days. good weather for some christmas-like ambience. still can't afford a christmas tree though. oh well. maybe next year when i'm fucking rich. rich as in FUCKING RICH!!!!

painted almost all of my wall (one of the four side only). looks very mexicanish. thinking of pimping the house. need some hari raya blinking blinking lights on top of the front yard. really need some decor boost for the interior still. it has already been 5 months since me and my mates move in. i still havent do anything yet. i'm useless. i shall kill myself tomorrow!

recent event. zouk out is over and done with. 18th of december. steve aoki got me blown away. wat a crazy mutherfucker he is. he is my new influence to push me forward through the new year. i want to dance like him, look like him, smell like him and stand on the dj console like him (i'm not a dj but i might as well jump on the bar top this coming new year eve party at cafe del mar jus like him). carl cox was so-so. armeen van bureen was a notch better than so-so. i miss electrico performance and the much anticipated i am david spade (or something) worse i miss aldrin set as well. note to self. plan yur movement specifically for the next zouk out and get your 40.20 worth. if there ever is a next one.

steve aoki: http://youtube.com/watch?v=wH6uQUm7E7I

thinking of moving to a new place

feeling like being in a relationship

feeling like getting a new job, beggining of next year

feeling like going for a jog yada yada yada

feeling like punching someone

here are some pictures that was taken recently so i can stop typing and go to sleep...

ain's harboiled magazine launch / helping her the best that i can

kenneth francis vs hong vs another dude at m.o.s (pure)

zouk out 2007 going and at the party

LET'S TRY EACH OTHER ON FOR SIZE!

2007-09-27T14:38:00.000-07:00

I feel the darkness consume my every being
and the light, my light, spitting out ad homonyms with
every pound of it's energy.
Bless and suffer my son?

And so i question...

WHO are those to embrace mediocrity as the new religion,
When those who stand among giants, fall and scraped away
like pitiful road kills on a busy Monday morning?
Irony has never had a better form than now.

And so i ask...

Do myself proud and peel away the pain ?
Or may I have faith in fate and peel away the pride?
Never for so long had i face questions that face me in return
with principles in question.
Why than does questioning feel so wrong?

And so i whisper...

Let's not be stupid and wake up the monster with
teeth as frightening as a disposable dentures,
body as run down as a biscuit factory and
with the strength so mammoth-like it shall tweak the plastic cup by
an incredible millimetre!
No, let's not even think about it!

And so i dream...

Essence of "I" will be control by the form of "WE"
The form of "WE" is the reality of an illusion
Illusion is the reality cause by fear
Fear of the "big and scary" monster

Now the question to me, that i dream is

"how is it possible that weed make us incredibly smart?"

this is nostalgia man!!

2007-09-20T13:33:00.000-07:00

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=30019505

want to hear me sing?
check out my old band..
don't comment..
cos i'll be hurt..
Ha Ha
ENJOY!!!!

a little bit more about me

2007-09-06T05:43:00.000-07:00

"i am a man with few........

a little bit less

2007-08-31T02:15:00.000-07:00

the name's dizzy and i am brought up as someone who's not the same, as in a world where sameness is celebrated and with the same breath where sameness is frown upon. I'll be the one in between.

I'll sing an anthem close to your heart, the place you'll rarely go. You'll hate me for doing that but hey there's no coincidence in meeting me. I, like god don't play with dice. NEITHER SHOULD YOU.

I've been known to be a fire starter, a mould of defiance and juvenile deliquency with a pinch of love and a dash of nonchalance. If you are as confuse as you are now to what i am trying to convey to you, don't be mad.

Blame the television, don't ask me why i want you to do that. But in my world that has always been the answer. DON'T BLAME "I" BLAME "THEM". Blame it, blame the cat, blame the school, blame god and et cetera. Well since we at it, why don't we blame the cat who pee on your mattress that created a whirlpool of anger and past memories of unfair victimizations that made you want to kill the motherfucking irritatting piece of excuse for a freaking cat? Well i say why don't you just close your room door?

This is me. And 1% was already written.

Champagne anyone?